Friday, September 13, 2013

A moment.

It has been so long since I wrote anything. Anything at all.

Just felt a need to write something at this moment. A moment.

Feeling a little mixed. Mixed and unsure.

What's going on again? Again.

Have been thinking alot these days. About this, about that.

What's going to happen? To me.

Feeling a little tired. Not physically.

Just feel a need to get away. Period.

Not just a holiday. Need to shut down.

No, nothing bad is going right now. Nothing really.

Just something felt stuck at the back of my throat. Stuck in the mind.

A little lost. Seem to got lost on a straight path.

Things look a little too real. It hurts.

Dreams seem harsh. In the face of reality.

Is it time to wake up?

Waking up will end everything. Everything.

Fairy tales don't exist. I know.

Happy ending is mine. How I hope.

Fading off.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Feel Good Factor

smiling 'nut (:, originally uploaded by DaedaLusT

Today I reflected on how good I felt. 

Feel good factor, I called it. 

It started with the trip down to town. 
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I got stopped on the street and asked by someone if I am interested to be a model and whether I am a student. 

It is not about being a model. I look good but not THAT good. But hey, I am happy. 
The part about me being a student. Woohoo! That instantly minus at least 3 years off my age! 
How can I not be happy?! 

Feel Good Factor: 10!
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I bought home a cup of bubble tea and wanted to have it chilled a little while before gulping it down. 

The fridge at home is really small, kept at the height of a primary 6 kid due to the furniture frame restriction. I usually think twice about buying anything that requires refrigerating. 

Just when I thought that I will most likely have to make do with drinking the not-so-chilled-anymore Milk Tea with Homemade Pudding, I saw a spot by the door behind the pack of ramen. And, the door can be closed after inserting the bubble tea in! 

I went, "OH!!!" 

Immediately, I felt so happy! 
It's like...
the feeling you get when you flunk your exam paper with 49/100, and just when you thought that's the end for you, you realised the tutor fall short of rewarding 1 point! 50/100 passing grade!
Plus, the eureka feeling that you get when you suddenly found a solution while you were pooing! An unlikely found!

Feel Good Factor: 8!
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Was happily drinking my bubble tea in front of the laptop, flipping through the papers when I felt something funny at my throat. 

First thought was, 'What's that? Weird feel...,' and I started to try to cough it out. No help at all. 

Second thought was, 'Do I have to dig it out? Puke it out? It will waste my lunch...' Decided to keep my lunch safe in my stomach. 

Third thought was, 'Shoot... Could it be the plastic wrapper on the bubble tea straw?!' Went through the trash and checked if the plastic wrapper was 100% disposed. Checked! Yes, 100%. Ruled out the possibility of plastic wrapper stuck on my throat. 

Got a fright for nothing. Decided to ignore the weird feel in my throat and just drink more water. 

In any case, whatever goes in, must come out.
Solution found.

Feel Good Factor: 4~ 
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Hey, it is all about feeling good, isn't it? 

老娘 - 我就是自我感觉。。良好 =)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My Blockbuster Dreams


If I am to collate my dreams, I can make a blockbuster movie.

If you ever want to a blockbuster movie script, just stay close to me during my morning wake-up moments. It will be the next Inception.

I am SERIOUS.

Dreams are a common thing for me. Politically correct will be, I tend to be able to recall my dreams.
And, I tend to check them up online for dream interpretations. Curiousity.

My dreams are of all kinds of patterns, different contents, different settings,... Such as...

When I was around 5 years old, I dreamt that I was a Caucasian small boy with a golden retriever dog at a hilltop, searching for something.

When I was around 6 years old, I dreamt that I could see people folding clothes for the display window at a shopping mall from my house's window. The shopping mall happened to be at least 5 kilometers, about 10 bus stops away.

A few years ago, I dreamt of a stair-less, escalator-less buildings, with people standing between the levels.

Last year, I dreamt of me stuck in the office building lift alone and the lift shot past the highest level.

A few week ago, I dreamt of rainy day, friend moving past in a car washed off by flood.

A few days ago, I had a happy dream! I found the perfect shop for jackets in the style that I like!
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Maybe I was being too conscious of my subconscious, making me more aware of my dreams.

I wonder what dreams will I have tonight.

Somehow, I am anticipating my blockbuster dreams.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

We dangle our legs in the beautiful places~

I have been taking ages to upload the pictures from my Europe trip! 

And, this is despite the fact that I have done so much preparatory work on iphone during the trip, jotting down notes on little happenings encountered! 

Too many photos to choose from and so, I decided I shall just do it at a shot, picking some of my favourites places where I dangled my legs at! 

Here we go!

Rome by xingalong
Pisa Florence by xingalong
Milan by xingalong
Switzerland by xingalong
Paris by xingalong
Amsterdam by xingalong
London by xingalong
Spain by xingalong


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I never thought that the sky will look different. 

I never thought that the land is that wide.

I never thought that the places can be that beautiful. 

Let's dangle our legs at beautiful places~ 

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Take a seat.

Ikea Ektorp three-seat sofa*, Ikea catalogue
(*picture formatted for effects)

Caught by my thoughts again. Twice today.

A clique of divest personalities, occasionally insane, always good company.
Together, we are friends.

First time. Today, it dawns on me that I have known them for 12 years.
Not wanting to go near the cliche line of saying 'time flies', I will say we look more fabulous.
True to my heart .

Second time. Was watching a Korean movie, My Black Mini Dress, and started wondering how much we know about each other.
No one can really understand each other fully, but I am glad and grateful that I can be so frank with myself when I am with them. I am frank cos' they allow me to.
True to my heart .

If I have a couch and I get to choose the people to take a seat with me, it will be them.

Take a seat.
Always.

Monday, May 30, 2011

I love to repeat.

I love to repeat by xingalong

I have been catching myself thinking quite a bit these days.

I actually like the process of thinking through things.

Staying up till the wee hours, sitting at the desk not speaking a word. That's how I do my thinking.

Others not able to see what is the product at the end of all these thinking.
But, to me, it matters.

I have been trying to figure out what kind of person I am.

I have been trying to figure out what I want to do.

I have been trying to figure out what am I to do.

Aspirations and ambitions that came like a gust of wind, fade and linger on.

Somehow, I do realise these questions have been repeated in my mind.

I love to repeat. 

It makes me feel closer to the answers.

Friday, May 06, 2011

Vote, or Poke?

Singapore Flyer by xingalong

The hottest topic in town is the General Election (a.k.a. GE), with the voting coming up this Saturday, 7 May 2011!

Lengthy post ahead! So, if you need to cut short, skip to the last paragraph.

If you don't know me personally, I am a Singaporean. And, I truly love Singapore! Woo-hoo!

Ok ok, why am I talking about the GE, you wonder. Especially when I am not one who is pro-politics, or even attended any of the emotions-summoning rallies held by the political parties.

I was out of town for a while previously, and was quite worried that I am out of touch with the current affairs of Singapore, especially when much seemed to have happened. So, the moment I came back, I dedicated some time out reading up online about some of the latest news, found out who are the people contesting for the area GRC.

When it comes to politics, I am pretty much silent about it. Not that I am passive or chosen to be ignorant about it, but I am following my personal guideline.

If I ain't sure, it may be best to keep my mouth shut.

Today, as I was updating myself on the latest GE news, or gossips *some seemed more like it than news*, I decided to see what some fellow Singaporeans are saying.

THIS was the article I was reading.

OMG! I was laughing my head off. I really cannot believe what I am seeing.

Some readers can really link their thoughts to everywhere!
Oh shoot, I still hope to be an author, really. Perhaps one with relative success. But my imagination ain't as great as some of these readers!

*edited 

Ah! I am just wondering, those weird comments posted online where people seemed to start hallucinating... People start to think that the dog-poo left at the park was done by the proposition party, and not the neighbour's dog.

Shoot. Don't tell me. Could it be there is terrorist sowing discord by acting as my fellow Singaporeans, posting those nonsensical comments! Freak!
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